Flirtations! with Benjamin, the Flirt Coach

50. How to Not Date Potential with Dr. Sheva

Have you ever dated someone's potential?
Dating who you want them to be? Who they could be? Who you think they should be?
Or maybe you find yourself romanticizing the future? 
Lawd knows I have!
Thankfully, in this episode, we welcome Dr. Sheva to the show to talk about why we date potential and how can we practice a different approach!
Inside, we talk about the different ways we date potential, why we do it, and how to be more grounded - and present - in the dating process. 
We also offer strategies for navigating the gray areas of dating, like when someone says they are going to change, but you're unsure how long to wait? Or what signs to look for to know if they're changing? Or if you should even wait in the first place?
Finally, we've got ways to manage anxiety in the dating process and how can you identify your needs and work with boundaries so you are less likely to date someone's potential.
I hope you enjoy this one as we move out of dating in the past and future, and date in the present!
Or Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Dr. Sheva is a licensed clinical psychologist and podcast host of "Tell Me Some More with Dr. Sheva". She believes that the relationship we have with ourselves, particularly how we think and respond to ourselves, is the foundation for our relationships with others.
Dr. Sheva is passionate about empowering women to improve their confidence, relationship with themselves, and relational skills to have the connections and life they desire. She also regularly presents on various wellness and mental health topics for individuals and organizations to promote holistic wellness. 
Dr. Sheva has shared her relationship perspectives and expertise in numerous publications, such as Forbes, Cosmopolitan, InStyle Magazine, and news platforms. 
Learn more about Dr. Sheva on her Instagram @drsheva and at www.drshevaassar.com, as well as the Tell Me Some More podcast.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!
 

Flirtini #7: Flirting and Conversation Tips for a Date!

In this Flirtini today, we're doing some flirting, ya'll!
No matter where you're at in the dating process, whether you're heading into a first date, a tenth date, or looking to get back out there in the future, this episode is for you!
As we answer the question, "How can you have more engaging conversations - and flirts - on a date?"
All is revealed inside for just how you'll take things to the next level and develop deeper connections, which is what the flirt is ultimately all about!
Resources mentioned in the episode:
FREE Flirt Styles Quiz:  Follow this link!
Textual Chemistry download:  Learn more and purchase here! 46 pages of conversation and flirting tips!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

49. The Trauma Episode with Tal Fish

On this episode of Flirtations, we welcome Tal Fish to the show, a licensed mental health counselor, to have a conversation with us about trauma.
In this complex, sometimes misunderstood, and yet highly relevant topic, we hold the space to go deep and talk about trauma, which many of us will experience at some point in our lives.
And when a trauma happens, whether it's a single event or something we experience multiple times, often we feel like something changes within us. We may feel unsure about how to move forward or what happens next. When it comes to dating, making connections, and forming relationships, trauma can show up in unexpected ways and make it difficult to open up.
Today, we hope to make this a little bit easier.
We start by defining trauma and recognizing how we may respond to it. What happens to the brain and body when we experience trauma? What are some ways that we naturally cope? Does the body hold on to (or store) trauma? How can we begin to release and heal?
Our conversation also addresses how trauma influences our choices and behaviors in dating, including having difficulty trusting others and building intimacy. Here, we strategies for learning to trust again (speaking to hypervigilance here) while maintaining your boundaries and protecting yourself. Finally, we offer guidelines for healing from trauma, remaining hopeful, and moving forward with optimism and an open heart.
I hope you'll join us for this very powerful conversation!
*This episode contains potentially sensitive dialogue about trauma. If you need to come back and listen at another time, please know this episode will always be here for you.*
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Tal Fish (he/him) is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist. He is also an actor, singer, and hopeless romantic. He’s a part time professor in addition to being a full-time clinician and loves to perform in his spare time. He is passionate about mental health and social justice, and loves being a cat dad to his Snowshoe kitten. 
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

48. Breaking Free: Surviving and Thriving After a Narcissistic Relationship with Madeline Beeler and Randi Markowitz

In this powerful episode of Flirtations, we welcome two Flirties to the show to share with us their stories of surviving and thriving after a narcissistic relationship.
Our guests, Madeline Beeler and Randi Markowitz, share their personal experiences of being in relationships with narcissistic partners and, through their stories, we explore the signs of narcissistic behavior, the emotional toll it takes, and the journey towards healing, self-discovery, and what comes next.
What you'll hear inside:
Understanding Narcissism: What it is and how to recognize it in a partner
Red Flags: Identifying the early signs of narcissistic behavior
The Emotional Impact: How being in a relationship with a narcissist affects your mental and emotional health
Breaking Free: The turning points that led our guests to leave their relationships
Healing and Recovery: Practical advice on rebuilding self-esteem and finding hope after leaving a narcissistic relationship
Moving Forward: How to avoid falling into similar patterns in future relationships and cultivate healthy connections
Please join us for an insightful and heartfelt conversation that sheds light on the challenges of dealing with narcissism in relationships and offers hope and strategies for anyone looking to reclaim their lives - and thrive!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guests!
Madeline Beeler is a business coach, mindset expert, and advocate for women navigating major life transitions. With a focus on empowering women to build thriving businesses and create meaningful lives, she helps them break free from limiting beliefs and step into their full potential. As a single mom, she understands the challenges of balancing family, business, and self-care, and she’s passionate about guiding women through the process of creating aligned, successful businesses. When she's not coaching, you can find her living life fully with her daughter and partner, and dreaming big for the future.
You connect with Madeline on Instagram. If you know its time to leave your relationship or marriage and looking for support, check out Madeline's upcoming course, Empowered Exit! You can learn more and join the waitlist here: https://madelinebeelerco.podia.com/empowered-exit
Randi Markowitz is a mixed-media artist who works as a painter, photographer, and graphic designer. Her paintings often feature inspirational messages, as she strongly believes in the power of words. Each piece includes an uplifting quote or saying—sometimes visible and other times hidden—intended to inspire feelings of love and hope.
In 2023, she received the Best of Chatham award for her design business, Belle Fleur Design. In 2024, she will participate in the Chatham Artists Guild Studio Tour to showcase her artwork under Randi Markowitz Art.
As a single mother, she has overcome the challenges of narcissistic abuse and now helps others understand narcissism.
You can find Randi’s art on Instagram @randimarkowitzart and Facebook @randi.markowitz.art and her website www.randimarkowitz.com. Her graphic design work can be found on Instagram @bellefleurgraphicdesign and Facebook @bellefleurgraphicdesign and www.bellefleurdesign.com
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

Flirtini #6: Dating Anxiety, Codependency + Moving too Fast, and Are They Flirting with Me?

Flirties!
It's the first Q&A Flirtini!
In this one today, I answer three dating questions that were submitted!
➡️ Question 1: When I meet someone, I automatically ask myself, “Is this my future partner?”  How can I stop doing that and enjoy the dating process more?
➡️ Question 2: I tend to rush a connection and go into codependency mode. What can I do about this? If things have moved too fast, is it too late to slow things down? What could I say?
➡️ Question 3:  I think someone is flirting with me, but I’m not sure. How can I tell? Should I ask them out? Or wait?
Check out this Flirtini for the answers to these questions, all delivered with my signature Flirt Coach perspective!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

47. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship and Living Courageously with Dana Flaherty

On this episode of Flirtations, we welcome the incredible Dana Flaherty to share with us her story of healing from a relationship with a narcissist.
If you've ever found yourself trapped in the harmful cycle of narcissistic abuse, this episode offers hope, guidance, and inspiration for reclaiming your power and why the best is yet to come.
Today, we'll get into:
How it begins:  How does the narcissist show up in the early stages of dating? Are there early signs to look for?
The Turning Point: Dana shares what the turning point was, how to not abandon yourself even in a narcissistic relationship and why leaving is so hard.
Escaping the Narcissist: What are the complexities of leaving a narcissistic relationship? How do you get out? What do you do if/when they come back?
Healing and Recovery:  Insight and advice on the healing process, from setting boundaries and seeking support to rediscovering love and trusting again.
Living Courageously: Exploring how to rebuild your life after narcissistic abuse, continue to show up for yourself and your family, and believe that the best is yet to come.
Whether you're in the midst of a narcissistic relationship, in the early stages of recovery, or looking to support a loved one, this episode is packed with wisdom and hope to help you move forward and live courageously!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Dana Jill became a social media creator on TikTok during 2020 in addition to her full time, multifamily career.  She has a huge passion for helping women feel empowered by sharing her tips and tricks that have made her feel more confident.  She is a single mother of three and uses her platform to share how you can be "park happy" and thrive as a single parent.    
You can connect with Dana on TikTok and Instagram!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

46. Vanishing Acts: Ghosting in Modern Dating with Yanni Dimitri

Coming up in this episode of Flirtations, we welcome Yanni Dimitri, the co-founder of No Ghosts Official, to the show to have a conversation with us all about ghosting!
Ghosting, the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without explanation, can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and searching for answers.
Today, we hope to help you find those answers!
Some of what we'll explore inside:
Are there different types of ghosting?
Why does it happen?
What can you do if you are ghosted? Do you reach out? How can you get closure?
How can I handle rejection?
What if I did the ghosting? 
Are there times when ghosting is acceptable?
How can I tell if I think I'm being ghosted?
Communication tips and strategies for situations when you're unsure
Once a ghoster, always a ghoster?
And MORE!!
Whether you've been ghosted, have ghosted someone, or are just curious about this dating behavior, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for this spooky dating phenomenon!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world.
About our guest:  Yanni Dimitri, co-founder of NoGhosts, is a Harvard-educated social scientist with a worldly flair, having lived in multiple countries and speaking six languages. He’s swiped through over 100,000 profiles (and counting!), diving deep into the quirks of online dating. Yanni’s on a mission to take online daters from swipe to spark, wherever they catch that first vibe.
NoGhosts is a company with an app and a mission to make ghosting a thing of the past by helping more people who connect online meet in person. “Less WTH, More IRL” is the vibe and movement to get online daters unstuck from chats that grow stale and an endless cycle of swiping to match rather than meet. 
Find NoGhosts on Instagram and Threads @noghostsofficial or www.noghosts.io, as well as NoGhosts the app (currently in Beta) on the Google Play and App Stores. 
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

Flirtini #5: What is Intimacy + How to Create It in Dating and Relationships with Lisa Brateman

It's the first ever guest Flirtini!
In this Flirtini, we welcome author and psychotherapist Lisa Brateman to the show to have a conversation with us about intimacy!
Intimacy goes beyond physical connection—it's about emotional closeness, trust, and mutual understanding. So how can we create it in dating and in our relationships?
Join us as we break down what intimacy truly means, discuss practical ways to create and nurture it, and explore strategies to overcome the challenges in developing intimacy (and what to do when intimacy may fade).
We'll also delve into the importance of having meaningful conversations that foster intimacy and connection instead of leading to conflict.
Whether you're dating, in a new relationship, navigating a long-term partnership, or seeking to understand intimacy better, this episode is for you as we look to deepen our connections and create more fulfilling relationships.
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Lisa Brateman, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, relationship specialist, public speaker, and media commentator with more than two decades of experience. She offers individual, couples, and group therapy in New York City. Her areas of expertise include anxiety and depression, couples therapy—marital and premarital—and conflict resolution. She’s the author of "What Are We Really Fighting About?: How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations" [Rowman & Littlefield Publishers; September 2024] and "The Courage to Walk Away: Move On after Infidelity by Mourning What You Lost, Identifying Your Relationship Needs, and Empowering Yourself for the Future" [Ulysses Press; February 2024]. Find her online at lisabrateman.com, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter (@LisaBrateman) and LinkedIn.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

45. Dating Shameless + How to Transcend Shame with Jessica Stahl

On the show today, we are joined by Jessica Stahl, creator of the indelible @vanillcooldance, to have an empowering conversation with us all about shame.
Indeed, shame is an incredibly strong emotion that can hold us back from fully embracing our authentic selves. Shame can keep us repeating the same patterns of beliefs and behaviors, and affect how we show up for ourselves. Shame can certainly impact our dating lives and how we form connections, too!
But what if we could date shamelessly?
Well, that's exactly what we're gonna do today!
In this episode, we explore the origins of shame, how it manifests in our dating experiences, and most importantly, how to overcome it. We'll discuss practical strategies for recognizing and addressing shame, and offer insights into building confidence and self-acceptance so you date - and connect - more authentically and fearlessly.
So, whether you're struggling with self-doubt, past relationship wounds, or societal pressures, this episode is for you.
Now let's meet Jessica and date shamelessly!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Vanillacooldance is a taboo-breaking cartoon and global community of over 72,000, founded by Jessica Stahl. Named the 2024 Sex & Relationships bCreator of the Year, Vanillacooldance sparks fearless conversations about sex, relationships, and living life unapologetically. Through bold cartoons and her newsletter SHAMELESS, Jessica tackles the topics we’re all secretly craving to discuss but too scared to say out loud, creating a space for people to reclaim their shameless selves. From viral street art to empowering workshops and brand collaborations, Vanillacooldance has evolved into a movement challenging societal norms. Jessica’s groundbreaking work was recognized by Cannes Lions, who named her one of 19 global female creative leaders in their 2024 See It Be It program, selected from over 1,400 applicants.
You can connect with Jessica on Substack, vanillacooldance.substack.com, and Instagram, instagram.com/vanillacooldance.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

44. Finding Your Voice with Nick Higgs the Singer

When is the last time you witnessed the power of your own voice?
Maybe you're like Benjamin, it was today, fool!
Or maybe it's been while?
Finding my own voice and starting this Flirtcast didn't come easily. I've struggled for most of my life to even just connect to my voice and that's the inspiration for this episode today.
To hopefully help you in connect to your voice, find it if it's gone away, or perhaps discover it like you never have before.
We welcome Nick Higgs the Singer to the show to guide us through the conversation as we talk about what hold us back from radiating our true voices, what we can do to overcome these blocks, and how we can bring more confidence to our conversations!
Then we'll get into allll the flirting tips about how you can use your voice as in incredible tool to flirt. Not just with the words you say, but with tone, pitch, speed, volume, range, and more! 
Finally, we'll wrap up with some anxiety practices and vocal exercises you can do when your tongue is tied and you feel like you might not be able to get the words out.
Being able to express yourself, your needs and boundaries, and how you're feeling is wildly important in dating - and in all of your relationships.
My hope with this episode is that you feel more connected to your voice and feel confident using it to communicate, have amazing conversations, and FLIRT!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Nicholas Higgs pursued his passion for music at the University of Toronto, where he earned both his Master’s and Bachelor’s degrees. Under the esteemed guidance of Professor Lorna MacDonald, he honed his skills and expanded his repertoire, showcasing his versatility in roles such as Count Almaviva in Mozart’s Le Nozze di Figaro and Grigory in William Walton’s The Bear. Other roles include Guglielmo (Così fan tutte), Abraham Kaplan (Street Scene), Papageno (Die Zauberflöte), and Curio (Giulio Cesare).
Praised for his “rich and agile voice,” baritone Nicholas engages listeners as a performer, content creator, and educator. He recently served as the music director, as well as performed the role of the Escapologist, in a production of Matilda the Musical with Triple Threat Theatre in Lindsay, Ontario.
Nicholas has made a significant impact as a content creator, amassing a dedicated following of over 450 thousand individuals across various social platforms. Through his online presence, he seeks to provide high-quality music education to his followers, firmly believing that everyone deserves the opportunity to sing. You can find Nicholas on social media at the username @nickhiggsthesinger.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!