Flirtations! with Benjamin, the Flirt Coach

130. Friend Crushes with Jewel Hohman

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re diving into a topic that I know many of you wonder about, but don’t always say out loud:  friend crushes. 
You know the feeling—when someone who started out as “just a friend” suddenly makes your heart race, or when you catch yourself asking: could we be more?
To explore this fascinating—and sometimes complicated—dynamic, we’re joined by human connection enthusiast and host of the Socially Delightful podcast, Jewel Hohman. Together, we’ll explore everything from how to tell if a friend might like you back, to the best way to ask them out without making things weird. 
We’ll also get into some perhaps trickier questions—what if they don’t feel the same, what if people gossip, what if it stirs jealousy in your friend group, or what happens if the relationship ends?
But that’s not all! We’ll also look at platonic friend crushes (cuz those exist, too!), the role of vulnerability, the power of connection, why we should all be flirting a little bit more, and how we can do just that.
So if you’ve ever had a friend crush—or maybe you’re in the middle of one right now—this episode is for you. 
Let’s do this Flirties, and meet Jewel!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
About our guest:  Jewel Hohman is a connection expert with a degree in psychology and a pending master's in social work, combining Evidence-Based Self Help and the latest friendship research to help women in their 20s and 30s to build friendships that actually nourish them.
In a post-pandemic world, people are more disconnected and lonelier than ever. We're ALL craving more meaningful connection, but how to make it? How to confidently build friendships that support us? Let's unpack the science behind friendships that actually nurture us.
Learn more about Jewel on her website and follow @connectionwithjewel on all social media platforms!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

129. The Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic in Dating with Carly Ann

Coming up on this episode of Flirations, we’re joined by Carly Ann, a therapist and attachment expert, here to have a conversation with us about the anxious/avoidant dynamic in dating!
We’ll talk about why this duo happens so often in dating, how to spot the difference between lovebombing and genuine interest, are they avoidant or not interested, and how anxiety shows up in the dating process.
We’ll get into what to do when insecurities, self doubt, or attachment wounds try to pull us off track and how your attachment style and nervous system are connected.
We’ll explore the origins of our attachment styles, why it’s not only about your childhood and family dynamics, and even how our attachment styles are fluid, not fixed.
Finally, how to tell the difference between chemistry and compatibility, ways to build secure attachments with others and within ourselves, and some communication strategies for early dating.
So, whether you feel like you’ve experienced the anxious/avoidant dynamic before, are curious to learn more, or just need something to listen (hello!), this episode is for you.
Let’s do this, Flirties, and meet Carly Ann!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
About our guest:  Carly Ann is an integrative therapist who helps people who worry, overthink, and find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns. She supports those who feel anxious, fear abandonment, or find themselves overreacting, especially when it feels like they have already tried everything.
Carly Ann’s mission is to show people that they are not alone and they are not stuck. Through her work, she helps individuals stop feeling “crazy” and reconnect with the version of themselves they were always meant to be: content, secure, and confident, before life, criticism, or loneliness made them doubt who they are.
Work with Carly Ann:  21 Day Anxious to Secure Course, grab the Anxious Attachment Bundle, follow on Instagram, and Subscribe on YouTube.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
 

128. Connection vs. Attachment with Dr. Janine O'Brien

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re answering one of the biggest questions in dating! Are we actually connecting — or just attaching?
Joining us Dr. Janine O’Brien, a psychologist, educator, and trauma-informed relationship specialist, who helps people untangle their attachment patterns and build more secure, meaningful relationships.
We’ll unpack how to spot the difference between lovebombing and genuine interest, why we sometimes confuse intensity with intimacy, and the ways our attachment wounds show up in dating. 
We’ll also talk about the marathon first date, what it looks like when we rush through dating, and how to ease dating anxiety so connection comes first.
Finally, we’ll explore what it means to develop self-trust, why we don’t need to hold everyone accountable, and how we can spot emotional availability within others and within ourselves.
If you’ve ever found yourself anxiously replaying texts, feel like you keep making mistakes, are ready to just give up, or curious about dating again, this episode is for you. 
It’s for everyone, basically!
Alright Flirties, let’s do this, and meet Dr. Janine!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
About our guest:  Dr. Janine O'Brien is a licensed clinical psychologist, practice owner, and relationship coach.  She specializes in working with millennials navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, relationship challenges, tricky family dynamics, modern dating, attachment wounds and relational trauma.  Her approach blends depth and relatability, helping clients untangle the roots of their struggles while building the clarity and confidence to create the kind of connections they actually want.  At the heart of her work is the belief that everyone deserves to feel secure and confident in their relationships, including the one they have with themselves.
In addition to her therapy practice, Dr. O'Brien is currently developing a course that blends self-paced learning, group coaching, and community support designed to help insecurely attached individuals move toward secure embodiment in their dating and relationships.  She has also been featured in outlets such as Huffpost, Very Well Mind, and Bustle, and is passionate about making psychology and mental health resources accessible and holistic.
You can connect with Dr. O'Brien on her website and Instagram.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

127. Codependency in Dating with Vanessa Bennett

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re going into the world of codependency with Vanessa Bennett!
Vanessa is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a sought-after speaker, co-host of the hit podcast Cheaper Than Therapy, and author of the new book The Motherhood Myth. Her work shines a light on how generational trauma, societal expectations, and personal experiences shape the ways we show up in relationships.
We’ll get into the origins of codependence and the different ways it shows up, and how we can identify patterns of control, validation-seeking, and over-functioning (hi people pleasing!),  and move toward interdependence, self-trust, and authentic connection. 
In our conversation, we explore how codependency is rooted in a fear and can feel as gripping as addiction. You’ll hear about the link between attachment styles and codependent behaviors, as we break down the difference between healthy attachment vs. emotional dependence, sharing tools you can use to build relationships that feel supportive - without losing yourself.
So, whether you’ve dated from this place of feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, or found it hard to let go of someone even though you knew they weren’t good for you, this episode offers both clarity and a path toward healing.
Let’s get into it Flirties, and meet Vanessa!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
About our guest:  Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, is licensed depth psychotherapist, author, and facilitator devoted to the lifelong work of coming home to the Self. In her words:  “My approach blends depth psychology, archetypal wisdom, and embodied healing—but it’s also no-nonsense, rooted in lived experience, and grounded in truth. I believe healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you to be small.”
Vanessa leads immersive healing retreats, workshops, and custom curriculum-based programs for nonprofits and corporations and founded the Inner Compass Academy, where she trains and supervise coaches and therapists to integrate depth and embodiment into their work.
Her newest book, The Motherhood Myth, explores how patriarchy, capitalism, and generational trauma have shaped our narratives around parenting, partnership, and identity, and how we begin the process of coming home to ourselves.
You can follow Vanessa on Instagram and learn more about her work on www.vanessabennet.com.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

126. Hookup Culture Uncovered with Dr. Lisa Wade

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re joined by Dr. Lisa Wade, a sociologist, assistant professor at Tulane University, and the author of the landmark book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus. 
Her groundbreaking research draws from the intimate, real voices of college students and reveals that hookup culture isn’t just about casual sex—it’s a social system with its own rules, hierarchies, and pressures.
We’ll explore how this culture took hold and the surprising ways it shapes how we all date and connect cuz we all know hookup culture isn’t limited to the college campus. We’ll also look at trends, like why Gen-Z is having less sex than previous generations, how gender and power dynamics still influence intimacy, and what might be replacing the hookup script.
So whether you’ve lived through hookup culture, opted out entirely, or are curious about how it’s evolving today—this is a conversation about desire, connection, and the cultural forces that shape both.
Let’s do this Flirties, and meet Dr. Wade!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
Watch on YouTube
About our guest:  Lisa Wade is an Associate Professor at Tulane University with appointments in Sociology and the Gender and Sexuality Studies Program. As a public-facing scholar, Lisa works to make her and others’ scholarship engaging to a public audience.
To this end, she is the author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus; an introduction to sociology titled Terrible Magnificent Sociology; a sociology of gender textbook, Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions, with Myra Marx Ferree; and numerous research articles. Her newest book—a documentation of undergraduate social life during the pre-vaccine pandemic—will be published next year.
You can find her online at lisa-wade.com, on Instagram at @lisawadephd, and on Bluesky at @lisawade.bsky.social.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

125. Dating Beyond the Patriarchy and Asking for More with Lily Womble

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re joined by the marvelous Lily Womble—a feminist dating coach, former top matchmaker, host of the Date Brazen podcast and author of Thank You, More Please: A Feminist Guide to Breaking Dumb Dating Rules and Finding Love. 
Lily is on a mission to help us break free from the beliefs the patriarchy has embedded in our love lives—and to ask for more. 
In this conversation, we talk about what it means to date as a feminist. We explore everything from how the patriarchy shapes modern dating culture to why so many women feel like they're “too much” and “not enough” at the same time. 
We’ll hear about Lily’s experience dating as a self described late bloomer, we’ll unravel the tension between wanting to be chosen and choosing for ourselves, how you can overcome a scarcity mindset - thoughts like, “It’ll never happen for me!” - by harnessing the power of desire.
We also get into black cat energy, the male gaze, and flirting, of course!
So, whether you’ve ever felt behind in dating, struggled to believe you deserve more, or found yourself following traditional gender norms and yet it’s not for you - you’re going to want to hear this.
Let’s do this Flirties, and meet Lily!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
Work with me!
Take the FREE Flirt Styles Quiz
Get INSTANT ACCESS to my anti-anxiety flirting and dating guide
Download my FLIRTING AND TEXTING CONVERSATION GUIDE
Grab my FREE Dating App Survival handbook
Book your 1:1 Flirting Audit
Ask the Flirt Coach
Watch on YouTube
About our guest:  Lily Womble was one of the top matchmakers in the U.S. After setting up hundreds of first dates, she realized that with the right tools, high achieving women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could.  She started her company, Date Brazen, five years ago and has since helped thousands of women become their own expert matchmaker with her unconventional, intersectional feminist approach to dating.  She's on a mission to interrupt the patriarchal status quo found in the dating world to help women create love lives that are self-trust filled, settle-proof, and actively joyful.  
She changes lives daily with her 85k+ TikTok community, Top 4 Relationship Podcast- The Date Brazen Podcast- , and sold-out coaching programs world-wide. She lives in Brooklyn with her fiancé, Chris.
You can find out more about working with Lily here, buy Thank You, More Please, follow Lily on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, and stream the Date Brazen podcast.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

124. The Subconscious Mind and Reprogramming Limiting Beliefs with Natalie Stavola

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re going straight to the source of transformation—the subconscious mind.
Joining us for this conversation is Natalie Stavola, a certified hypnotherapist, coach, author, and speaker with a deeply personal story of healing—from addiction and self-sabotage to empowerment and purpose. 
Natalie helps people rewire limiting beliefs, release emotional blocks, and rebuild the self-trust needed to experience relationships based on truth rather than pain.
Inside the episode, we’ll learn why your subconscious mind might be the very thing keeping you from what you want and how our earliest programming creates the beliefs we carry into adulthood.
We’re talking about what it means to date while stuck in survival mode, how shame and self-doubt can sabotage connection, how to identify our limiting beliefs, and finally, how to reprogram them.
If you’re ready to stop asking all the questions and instead start listening to yourself again… this one is for you. 
Let’s do this, Flirties, and meet Natalie!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Natalie Stavola is a globally recognized career and dating coach who has helped over 3,000 people worldwide transform their lives. Known for her direct yet compassionate style, she specializes in helping men—especially those entering or navigating positions of power—develop emotional intelligence, shift internal power dynamics, and break free from limiting beliefs.
Certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), coaching, and a degree in Psychology and Communications, Natalie empowers clients to access deeper self-worth, improve communication, and thrive in both their professional and romantic lives. Her coaching techniques have consistently produced fast, lasting results, attracting high-achieving individuals from all walks of life. She is also a #1 Amazon New Release author in the dating and relationships category.
You can follow Natalie on Instagram, work with Natalie 1:1, and schedule a FREE 60 minute discovery call. 
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

123. How to Know When It's Time to Walk Away with Amber Rae

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re joined by speaker, creative force, and bestselling author Amber Rae, author of Choose Wonder Over Worry and her new book, Loveable, One Woman’s Path from Good to Free.
In this memoir, Amber shares how one day, four years ago, while married, she looked into the eyes of a stranger and fell instantly in love. What ensues is a raw story about breaking up with her previous life, choosing herself, and following her intuition toward love.
Inside the episode, Amber opens up about walking away from a safe but disconnected marriage, and finding the courage it takes to want more in a world where it’s easier to settle.
We talk about trusting your intuition, following desire, and how to recognize when you’re bargaining with yourself to stay in something that no longer fits. 
Amber shares what it means to ask the universe for a sign—and how we can listen? We’ll hear about how she handled the judgement of leaving her marriage, what we can do with regrets, and ultimately how to know when it’s time to walk awya.
This conversation is an invitation to stop outsourcing your worth and start listening to your inner voice. Whether you're navigating a crossroads, healing from a breakup, or learning to trust yourself again—this episode will meet you there. 
Alright Flirties, let’s do this, and meet Amber Rae.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Amber Rae is a bestselling author and speaker best known for books Choose Wonder Over Worry and The Answers Are Within You. She’s also the creator of The Feelings Journal, a tool that transforms the way you engage with your emotions. Her writing and illustrations reach 9M people per month, and her work has been featured in publications such as The New York Times, New York Magazine, TODAY, SELF, Fortune, Forbes, and Entrepreneur. As a keynote speaker and teacher, Amber has worked with companies such as Kate Spade, Meta, Microsoft, and TED. Amber lives in New York with her husband and son.
Preorder Loveable, then learn more about Amber Rae on her website and Instagram.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

122. Soulmates, Twin Flames, Karmic Connections, and Timing in Dating with Danny Santos

You know what Flirties, I have a question for you. Have you ever met someone and just knew they were the one?
Maybe it was instant chemistry, maybe it was a slow burn, or maybe it was heartbreak that cracked you open in a way nothing else ever had?
Well today, we’re diving into the soul-level stuff—those invisible forces that draw us to each other, shape our relationships, and sometimes, break us apart.
Joining us for this episode of Flirtations is the luminous Danny Santos, a spiritual guide, psychic medium, and the intuitive heart behind @santoscrystalvisions on Instagram, to have a conversation with us about soulmates, twin flames, karmic connections, and timing in dating.
What does it mean when we feel an undeniable connection with someone? How do we know if it’s love… or a lesson? Is timing really everything? 
And what if—maybe the hardest question of all—what if I feel like we already met our soulmate and it didn’t work out? What if the love of my life has already come and gone… will I find love again? Flirty, of course it will. We’re hopeful romantics here on Flirtations!
We’ll also talk about dating karma, the invisible string theory, and why some connections feel written in the stars—even if they never find a forever. We’ll untangle how to recognize when you’re stuck in a cycle and how to clear your energy so you can call in the kind of love that truly aligns.
This one is soulful, expansive, and a little bit witchy—in the best way. Whether you’re in the middle of something cosmic, letting go of something karmic, or waiting for the universe to catch up… this conversation is for you.
So take a deep breath, Flirties, and settle in—because we’re gonna get very real about spiritual connection and the sometimes messy, but always magical road to love.
Let’s do this Flirties, and meet Danny!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!
About our guest:  Danny Santos is the Astrologer, Psychic Medium, and Integrative Healer behind Santos & The Crystal Visions. With 20 years of study in the cosmos, Danny’s expertise blends the magic of astrology with tarot, reiki, breathwork and psychic mediumship. His repertoire also extends to Ayahuasca shamanism and plant medicine. 
Danny has a unique astrological approach. He is an Archetypal Astrologer, which means he intertwines astrology expertise with the psychoanalytic theories of Freud, Jung, and Lacan, providing astrological insights that heal, clarify, and foster a connection to our collective consciousness. Trained as a shaman under Don Enrique Lopez-Fasanando of the Shipibo lineage in Peru, Danny has mastered advanced shamanic techniques, including icaros and plant spirit communication, enriching his holistic approach to healing and spirituality. He is a trained psychic medium under Colby Rebel—his mentor who was voted Los Angeles’ best psychic in 2022—and hosts the Astro Daddy Podcast, where he explores astrology, shamanism, plant medicine, and other spiritual topics with his guests.
Danny has contributed his insights to outlets like The New York Post, Refinery29, Bustle, and Well+Good, as well as podcasts such as Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman (the dating coach for The Drew Barrymore Show), Broke Girl Therapy, and The Double Teamed Podcast. Most recently, he was the resident astrologer for luxury resort MUSA in Zihuantanejo, Mexico. 
Danny is a fervent advocate for mental health and has been featured and works with The National Alliance on Mental Illness as well as Pineapple Support, a non-profit organization that specializes in bringing mental health support to the people of the adult entertainment industry. He is currently preparing to work with veterans, survivors of human trafficking, and people with PTSD. 
In his free time, Danny writes music and sings. You can hear his first single, “Poppies For Edwin,” on Spotify. You can follow Danny on Instagram and TikTok.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

121. Is Happiness a Choice? Practical Optimism and the Science of Hope with Dr. Sue Varma

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re talking practical optimism and how this grounded, science-backed approach can help guide us toward more fulfilling connections and loving relationships.
Joining us for this conversation is Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical assistant professor at NYU, and the author of Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being. Her work has helped countless people navigate trauma, stress, and uncertainty—and today, she’s helping us bring more purpose and emotional resilience into our dating lives.
In this conversation, we unpack what it really means to be optimistic in a world that doesn’t always make it easy. We talk about why it’s so hard to be alone, but how we can do just that without giving in to loneliness. 
We explore how we can stop comparing ourselves to other people, how we can find purpose in small, everyday moments, and why empathy is so important to true, genuine connection.
We also ask questions like, "Is happiness a choice?" "Can we train our brains to think bigger and love deeper?" And, "What does it mean to be a practical optimist?"
If you’re struggling to keep the hope alive out there dating or are having a hard time believing in yourself, you don’t want to miss this episode!
Dr. Varma’s work has sincerely changed my own life in my longtime battle with depression and I hope that by the end of this episode, if you’re having a hard time in your life, things will get just a bit easier.
Alright Flirties, let’s do this, and meet Dr. Sue Varma!
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About our guest:  Dr. Sue Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist and distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, with over 20 years of experience in both private practice and as a clinical assistant professor at NYU Langone Health. A trailblazer in her field, she was the inaugural medical director of NYU's 9/11 mental health program, earning a Mayoral Proclamation for her groundbreaking contributions.
Dr. Varma is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and national medical commentator, regularly featured on leading platforms like the Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Mornings, The NY Times, WSJ, Washington Post, along with documentaries and primetime specials, where her expertise has earned her 13 nominations and two Sharecare Emmy Awards.
Honored as one of the world’s top five leading health experts by Global Citizen for her pandemic work, and the Ivan Goldberg Award for Outstanding Service, Dr. Varma now brings her insights on mental wellness to a global audience with her acclaimed book Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Wellbeing, being translated in a dozen languages and counting.
To learn more about Dr. Varma and her work, please check out Instagram and www.drsuevarma.com.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.
Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.
His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.