Flirtations! with Benjamin, the Flirt Coach

Flirtini #3: Genuine Interest vs. Delulu in Dating

Flirty! Do you like them? Or are you delulu?!
In this Flirtini, I share how you can tell the difference!
First, we focus on delulu, shorthand for delusion, as we also bring in obsession, infatuation, and limerence for this part of the discussion! I think all of these states and experiences are cut from the same cloth and right at the top, I share exactly what it means to be delulu - and why we go there!
Then, I talk about what it means to have genuine interest for someone, what that looks like in dating, and how that interest is developed.
I also cover the different dating behaviors that are involved in delulu vs. genuine interest, or HOW each looks in dating, and what to look for from the people you date to see where they're at, too.
Finally, I don't think this Flirtini would be complete without brining anxiety into the conversation, so we'll round out this one with what to do when anxiety seems to take over.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!
 

41. Big Sister Dating Advice + Dating Q&A with Tisia Saffold

On this episode of Flirtations, we're joined by dating coach and entrepreneur Tisia Saffold who is going to spill the dating tea with us and share all the big sister dating advice you wish you knew, but maybe haven't heard before ... until now!
Here's what you can expect from this episode:
Why you can’t date potential (and the mindset shift you need right now if you are)
How to choose yourself vs. waiting to be “chosen” in dating
How to date with detachment, manage your emotions and anxiety, and be less reactive
What about asking "what are we," early on, is this a good idea?
How can you know if you're being lead on?
What is cheap communication currency? (and why watching your stories doesn’t mean anything)
What is the uno reverse card in dating? And how can you use it to gain your power back?
You're dating someone and they say they need space, what to do you in this situation?
Can a friends with benefits/casual physical connection become more? 
A message from Tisia for anyone dealing with heartbreak
and MORE!
What are you waiting for, let's goooo!!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Meet Tisia X.V. Saffold! Pronounced "Ta-see-a" and named from her late Mother's birth story of wanting "to see her" after long hours in labor, Tisia was born and raised in Chicago and relocated to the DMV area 10 years ago.
Tisia is Founder & CEO of a Tech Startup-Cleare: a compliance software for the childcare industry. In addition to her thriving Startup, Tisia is a beauty and fragrance influencer who has reached over 100M social media accounts, going viral for her unique perspective on dating and relationships. After auditioning as a single in the DMV, Tisia was casted on OWN Networks "Ready to Love" Season 5.
You can follow Tisia on Instagram and join the Secret Girls Chat + check out coaching and other offers here.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

40. ADHD and Dating with Kaleigh Smith

In this episode of Flirtations, we're getting into the nuances of dating and ADHD with our guest, Kaleigh Smith. If you've got ADHD and you're dating, this episode is for you!
Here's what you can expect:
What ADHD is and what happens in the ADHD brain
Traits and characteristics of ADHD, what does it look like day to day?
How does ADHD impact the way we date, form relationships, and make connections?
What are some communication tips for the ADHD dater?
How can you regulate emotions with ADHD?
What about limerence and hyperfocus, what can you do when this happens?
Strategies to manage anxiety in dating
The positive benefits of ADHD and how to use it to your advantage
Resources and next steps if you think you might be ADHD
As an ADHD flirty myself, I hope this is a really helpful episode!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Kaleigh is a Registered Psychotherapist practicing in Ontario, Canada, and the clinic owner of Yellow Serenity Counselling & Psychotherapy. She completed a Specialist Degree in Mental Health (HBSc) at the University of Toronto, a post-graduate certification in mental health interventions at Seneca College, followed by a master’s degree in Counselling Psychology at Yorkville University.
As an ADHDer, Kaleigh brings a lived experience perspective to her psychotherapy practice. She understands the nuances of navigating daily life with ADHD, from managing executive function challenges to embracing the unique ways of neurodivergent thinking.
As a proud member of CADDRA and a Certified Clinical Services Provider for ADHD treatment, she offers specialized, affirming care for neurodivergent individuals. Her goal as a therapist is to empower neurodivergent individuals and enhance their overall well-being through personalized, neurodivergent-affirming therapy. You can connect with Kaleigh on Instagram and via the web.
The resources mentioned in the episode are found here:
https://www.caddra.ca/ Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance
https://caddac.ca/ - Centre for ADHD awareness in Canada
https://chadd.org/ - Children and Adults with ADHD
https://www.additudemag.com/
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

39. Breaking Cycles in Dating (and in life!) with Jessica Amos

In this episode of Flirtations, we're breaking cycles, y'all! Cuz you are what? A cycle breaker!
With our incredible guest for this conversation, mindfulness coach and TEDx speaker Jessica Amos, we’ll explore how to break free from three types of cycles that play out in our dating lives - and beyond.
First, we'll look at generational cycles, or the cycles that become familiar to us through our childhood. These cycles take hold because of how we are raised, they form by making observations of our surroundings growing up, and we can even inherit them! How do these cycles find their way into our dating lives and impact how we form relationships, how we attach, and how we love?
Also up for consideration are mindset cycles, or those thought patterns we get stuck in that can fuel self doubt and negative thinking. How do we develop these cycles and what can we do about it to have more mental and emotional liberation in our own minds?
Finally, we'll be getting into behavior cycles, or our patterns of action that sometimes have us make the same decisions that aren't the best for us, leading to repeat mistakes and "learning" the same lesson over and over. What can you do if you feel like you can't break free from yourself and your own behavior?
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a loop or struggled with patterns that seem impossible to break, I hope you'll stay right here as we learn how to embrace change, cultivate a more empowered version of ourselves - and break cycles!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Jessica Amos is a certified mindfulness teacher, coach, two-time TEDx speaker, and the founder of Stay with Yourself. With over 1.2 million downloads and a community of 90,000 students, she blends personal storytelling with high-value courses on topics like Shadow Work, Inner Child Healing, and Compassionate Boundaries to create a safe, intimate space for healing. When she’s not writing, speaking, or working with clients, you can find her rocking out to Nirvana, taking obscenely long walks (is all day ever too long?) and planning her next escape from the internet. Learn more at StayWithYourself.com.
Get Jessica’s 10x Course Bundle ($49) - https://staywithyourself.circle.so/checkout/courses-bundle
Learn to Meditate in 8-Weeks with Jessica ($89) - https://staywithyourself.com/learntomeditate/
Join Jessica’s Intro to Inner Child Healing Workshop ($97) - https://www.autumnreeser.com/inner-child
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

38. Why F*ckboys are Boring and How to Not Chase in Dating with Ryan Sheldon

Today we're asking the question "what the heck is happening out there dating?!" with Ryan Sheldon, author of the new book, "F*ckboys are Boring:  A Gay Man's Guide to Dating (for everyone)." 
We'll take on the topic of the f*ckboy, how he dates, how you can spot him, and what you can do with your boundaries so you don't get emotionally caught up in their web! Unless you want to date the f*ckboy for some fun, in which case we have some tips for you, too!
Ryan also shares about his experiences dating both sexes, and what it was like coming out after dating women and making the transition to dating men, oye! We'll also talk about dating psychology here, getting into the mind of men and why they do what they do.
Intertwined in this conversation are tips and strategies for not chasing and allowing yourself to be calm, cool, and collected in the dating process - which worked for Ryan who is now dating someone that involves a meet cute moment in an Uber!
Finally, we conclude with Ryan's journey of body acceptance and how becoming comfortable in his own skin changed everything and lead to more fulfilling experiences and connections.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Ryan Sheldon is a nationally recognized influencer, brawn model, and advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community. He has been featured on the TODAY Show and in publications like Psychology Today, Seventeen, and Teen Vogue, among others. In his latest book, FUCKBOYS ARE BORING: A Gay Man's Guide to Dating (for everyone), Ryan shares hilarious, heartbreaking, and candid stories from his personal journey through modern dating. Drawing from his own experiences, he offers a refreshingly honest and supportive guide for those seeking real connections in an era dominated by swipe culture.  You can follow Ryan on Instagram @RealRyanSheldon and TikTok @RealRyanSheldon. To get a copy of "Fuckboys are Boring," check out Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, or anywhere books are found!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

Flirtini #2: Dating Tips if You're New to Dating or Unsure Where to Start

Maybe today you find yourself looking to date for the first or for the first time in a long time. Perhaps you're recently coming off an extended dating break or you're single again after a long term relationship. And you don't know where to start.
Flirty, I got you!
In this Flirtini, I've got a plethora of tips for where to even begin in dating!
First, I share five mindset practices that will help you immensely as you get back out there dating, but I'm not going to share them in the notes. You gotta listen! 😛
After that, I've got a few dating strategy starting points (for dating both on the apps and in person), and we'll wrap up with some ways you can stay focused, manage anxiety, and not go down the rabbit hole of chasing unavailable partners!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

37. The Black Cat/Golden Retriever Theory in Dating with Anna Kristina

Ooooo flirties ... today on Flirtations, we welcome Anna Kristina to the show, creator of the viral Black Cat/Golden Retriever theory in dating on Tik Tok and founder of the Black Cat Academy to share with us allll the details about this wildly popular - and transformational - approach to dating.
We'll learn from Anna what it means to be a black cat with her "3 principles of black cat energy" and how the dynamics between the black cat and golden retriever play out in early dating.
We'll also go into how to embody black cat energy, how you can transform from the golden retriever into the black cat, and talk about the duality of masculine/feminine energies.
Finally, we've got tips for queer daters out there about how these dynamics show up in same-sex relationships (for example) and how the straight guys out there can date the ultimate black cat.
When it comes down to it, Anna's mission is a personal one to empower women (and many gay men!) to embody their own power and accept nothing less than they deserve in dating - and in life.
I hope you'll join us for this incredible conversation as we tap into our inner black cat!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Anna Kristina has gone viral many times over for her black cat/golden retriever theory in dating and overall straight-forward, empowering advice that is changing lives around the world. With an approach centered in knowing one's true worth and loving oneself wholeheartedly, Anna has created a vibrant community of women who do not chase men - but chase their own potential and dreams.
Anna is not only a dedicated mindset coach who is passionate about women's confidence and self love, but an entrepreneur and podcast host, as well. Her advice, honest approach, and transparency is valued by her black cat communitya and Anna further teaches her methodology on her Spotify exclusive podcast, "Be Smart, Play Dumb," now streaming!
You can learn more about Anna's work and watch all her videos on Tik Tok and Instagram, check out her courses and programs here, and stream the "Be Smart, Play Dumb" podcast on Spotify where each episode is dedicated to going in depth into the black cat/golden retriever theory.
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

36. The Confidence Episode! with Silky Nutmeg Ganache

Confidence is one of the most alluring, captivating, and powerful qualities a person can have ... yet it can also be one of the most elusive!
In the first official confidence! episode of Flirtations, we welcome superstar Silky Nutmeg Ganache on the show to inspire us to be our most authentic, confident selves!
Throughout this conversation, we answer questions like:
Where does confidence come from? Is it something we're born with? How do you build it, create it?
Can you feel confident in some areas of your life and not in others?
What if you don't feel confident in your dating life, how can you become more confident?
How do you show up with courage when you have fear and feelings of low self esteem?
What can you do in the face of rejection when you feel like your confidence has been knocked down?
You don't wanna miss the absolute nuggets of gold in this episode as we talk all things confidence!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest: Hailing from Moss Point, Mississippi, Silky Nutmeg Ganache has established her presence and legacy through the Emmy Award winning show RuPaul’s Drag Race. Appearing on three seasons - RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 11, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 6 - as well as Canada’s Drag Race, Canada VS the world - Silky has managed to be the finalist on 2 seasons. She currently holds the record of Most Lip Syncs won (9 Collectively).
Silky is also referred to as “The Reverend Doctor Silky Nutmeg Ganache,” due to her Masters Degree in Organizational Leadership and current pursuit of becoming a doctor in Philosophy. Education is the single thing in life that no one could ever take away from you. That was the message ingrained in Silky by her 86 year-old educator-grandmother. 
Finding inspiration for her name while watching The Food Network, Silky Nutmeg Ganache, describes herself as a southern bell who speaks the truth and will always lend a helping hand.  As a child, Silky was obsessed with the Food Network. While other children were tuned in to cartoons, Silky was tuned in to Emeril Lagasse instead.
Like many others, Silky sees the importance and responsibility of being a drag entertainer. When asked about her legacy, Silky shared, "I want everyone to know that as drag queens, we are greater than entertainers. We are doctors, lawyers, politicians, educators, etc. I hope to be the example through my accomplishments in education and through the many people I’ve enrolled and inspired to pursue higher education."
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

Flirtini #1: How to Know if They (and You!) Are Ready to Date

Welcome to the very first Flirtini on Flirtations!
Today, we're hopping in the emotional C.A.R. to answer the question, "How can I know if they are ready to date?"
We'll also using this tool to answer the same question for yourself - how to know if you're ready to date!
I love a good acronym and C.A.R. stands for capacity, availability, and readiness.
While I will always advocate for clarity through communication - simply asking them if they are ready - we all know dating isn't *always* this cut and dry.
So, fasten your seatbelts and let's hop in the C.A.R.! 
Vroom vroom!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!

35. From First Impression to First Date with Matchmaker Daniel Cooley

On this episode of Flirtations, we're going from first impression to first date, y'all!
Let's set the scene. You walk into a party. A singles event. Networking get together. Really any social situation where you're looking to mix 'n mingle ... and maybe come away with a first date at the end of it all! This is where today's episode takes place!
As we answer questions like ...
How can you break the ice? Do first impressions really matter as much as we think?
What are some conversation tips? What if the person that caught your eye is always with other people, what are strategies to introduce yourself that seem natural?
How can you turn someone down that expresses interest in you, but you don't feel the same way?
What are some ways to manage social anxiety and feel more confident? 
What about asking for their number and setting up a date?
How about flirting tricks?!
All of this and MORE is waiting for you inside this episode as we welcome expert matchmaker Daniel Cooley on the show for this conversation!
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!
About our guest:  Daniel Cooley is a celebrity gay matchmaker, executive love recruiter, co-owner of Best Man Matchmaking for queer and gay men based in Los Angeles, CA. You can learn more about Daniel and ways to work with him on his website and Instagram!
Thirteen years ago, Daniel founded “The Thrive Tribe,” a nonprofit organization in West Hollywood dedicated to combating the stigma of HIV and AIDS while supporting Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer men in accessing PrEP.  
Known as “The Divine Connector,” Daniel transformed a small group into a vibrant community of thousands, helping many find meaningful gay relationships.  
With over a decade of experience as a massage therapist, Daniel primarily served GBTQ clients, forming deep connections and witnessing firsthand the loneliness and struggles some face in their search for love.  
In 2023, after connecting hundreds of gay men through his nonprofit and massage practice, Daniel met Anthony through retired Gay Matchmaker Mason Glen. Inspired by their successful collaborations, Daniel embraced the role of Matchmaker. With a unique blend of expertise in nonprofit work, real estate, entertainment, massage therapy, and spirituality, he is devoted to fostering conscious, queer connections for men ready to find their perfect match!
About your host:  Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!
As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.
You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.
💗 Happy flirting!